After everything that had happened, I realized how numb I was to emotional pain. My logical mind is now in control. It sensed the danger of any incoming possible situations that would hurt me and it will trigger my defence to be up. I will close myself from that person, which includes staying away from him or asking him straight if he meant to hurt me.
My mom described me as being hard-hearted. I called it "a way to protect myself and survive in this world". I admit that is not the right way to handle things, but for now, it is the only way I know to buy some time for my broken heart to heal.
I read a quote "Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you; you just got to find the ones worth suffering for". It made re-look at my state. Maybe I just have not met the right person. Am I expecting too much from a person? I admit that I am not perfect so I should not have expected anyone to be as well.
Even in this state, I believe that my family will always be the core of my heart.
