Forgive & Forget

Can anyone really do that - to forgive and forget?

The experiences in life will always be within us. They replay over and over in our head, especially when we let our guard down. The good ones will be a joy while the bad ones just ruin our mood for that day.

The term "to forgive and forget" get thrown around so often. It seems logical but how do we erase these bad memories from our minds? If only we have access to the neuralyzer...

Why do people expect others to feign ignorance of what that had happened? Nothing can be like before. Once trust is broken, it can never be perfect once more. People are selfish. I think it is within our nature. We want everything to happen the way we want it to be, so we influence others in their decisions. We use our authority that was given to us as the management, the parent, the brother, the best friend, the significant other to influence the situation and the 'victim''s decision.

As humans, there is a part in us that also cares for others so we suppress our emotions (hurt, anger, sadness) to try to please the people that matters. We put a fake smile to hide our real feelings. How healthy can that be? Never.

It is unfortunate that my motto in life right now is "Smile at the face of adversity". It was to represent courage and strength in any events that cross my life. I still believe it does. But, I cannot forget. Whatever that happened will always be a part of me. It comes with the whole messed up emotions that will be triggered every time i recall those memories. I will be affected, I cannot pretend that it does not affect us.

To forgive. I am honestly working on it, I am trying my best. In the end of life, all these turmoil does not matter. We will die, if God wills, in peace.

Detachment #1c: 1 Month

It is done. One month, 30 days. That is all it takes to change anything I want, if I put my mind into it. Time to move on with other areas of my life. Smiling as go along...  ^_^

Detachment #1b: Clear Boundaries

It has been 3 weeks since any contact with Person X. It does get easier as time passes. However, there are times when I wish he would rekindle the relationship. Bah, humbug! Come on, I can do this. God, please give me strength.


These are my steps to detach myself from him. The aim is to set clear boundaries.

Step 1: Clearly define relationship
My last message to him was to clearly state that we are better as friends and I gave my reasons. Rather than cutting a good guy out of my life, I rather have him as a friend. I also eliminate the ambiguity of our relationship. I tried my best to end things will a good note. I have never understood the need to play the "vanishing game" on others. I believe that it would be better to clear all misunderstandings and separate amicably.     

Step 2: Cut any unnecessary contact
As (casual) friends, I will limit myself to just sending well wishes to him during celebrations.



The only determinant of success or failure is self-discipline to stay within the boundaries.
[I can do this... I can do this...]

Detachment #1a: A Person

The heart easily attaches itself to someone or something. Be it a crush, or a boyfriend, or makeup or fashion. Whatever it is, some attachments are good while most are bad. To detach from them is a decision made after considering their pros and cons.

I am trying to detach from someone. The kind of link that we have is very vague. We like each other. The use of the word "we" itself felt weird. We were never an item. We were in the floating realm of more than friendship but not a couple. I was naive, I must have confused myself in using "love" than "like".

Communication is the key to any relationship, and unfortunately, that was missing. I barely know this guy, yet I was attached to him. I wonder if he ever thinks about me, if there is any chance of us being together in future. Let my imagination run wild...

After the burst of lovey dovey emotions, my rational thinking overtakes. It is not possible to be in love with someone when I know so little of them. Logically, a long distance relationship with little communication just will not work. It will NOT work. I blame myself for falling for him. Maybe it was a moment of weakness, I was just insecure and made myself vulnerable. The truth is till now, I cannot pin point the reason of falling for him. Everything is just a blur.

Nevertheless, I have made a decision to cut this unhealthy attachment. He will just be a friend to me. I will not be in contact with him other than random well wishes. I have popped the fairy tale, now I just need to ensure it remains deflated.